Very Early Start

Wow...I haven't posted in months.
It has been 6 months of testing and trials at work yet moments of pure joy.
I was placed at my school as a classroom aide in an autistic support class.
Enough said on that-God was there with us! Hallelujah!

So here are some pics....




There goes my little girl...off to Italy to teach for 5 weeks!
Did I cry? Yes, but not until Saturday while we waited to get word that she was in Italy and settled into her hotel...that didn't come until she was able to hit an internet cafe on Sunday. Now she has a cell, so grateful...talking to God, resting in trust and peace over this and a real eye-opener to His power.

Next...



An elk...where do you find an elk in Pennsylvania?...in Elk County! Actually they were roaming around this town like a tame herd of beef. This one was standing along the road feeding near a house. We happened along this geocaching and today we are off again, picnic lunch to boot!

No big vacation plans this summer...hubby is on strike. Crazy as it sounds...today's local paper has it's first letter to the editor on why these guys and gals should be so thankful to have a job that strike shouldn't be an option. Actually it isn't the money that has their union in an uproar and I don't know anyone my husband works with that isn't thankful for their job. Going to have to do some repair once he gets up and sees the paper, I just know others will take the pen up and defend. Thankful he is listening to me more about God supplying our needs, as a matter of fact, I am receiving my last paycheck today for the summer too. So... today we are going out into the Pa. forests and hamlets happy to just be getting by. There is a strange outlook of joy and laughter in this crazy household these past couple weeks. What's God up to? One thing is teaching us not to be slaves to our weekly income!

So that is all for now. Going to get myself together with some prayer,a bath, make us some egg salad sandwiches and then get the other two up for a day of geocaching. Next week we will be getting ready for a yard sale. Thankful this may finally break the spell of keeping things no longer in need of! I just got another "Amen" on that too!

Snow Day Ramblings

Well...what a morning! I had three dreams last night, all called for an impending snow day, and in all three cases it did not happen. Then I awoke at 5:30, to be ready for hubby, who was asked to prepare for at least a 3 day call out for power outages by having his bag packed on arrival to work this morning...and school was cancelled! We weathered wind chills of -15 degrees by having school a couple weeks ago, one of the few districts in this part of our state to do so, so last night I really didn't plan today would be any different.

But here's the thing. (that was improper grammar)

I actually saw another personal financial gain if this storm turned for the worst in this part of the country. It didn't settle well. Then this morning we saw that from Ohio to New Jersey there isn't anything so damaging and widespread that teams of workers from our area need to attend to. I just hung up the phone with dear hubby and admitted, "I was so stupid to want financial gain from the misfortune of others."
Thank God!
Thank God another fleshy, worrisome part of me fell away.

*******

Both girls are sleeping still.
One of them needs, needs, lots of rest!
Fighting a nagging cold and managing a full schedule has taken it's toll.


*******

Tapped into another Proverbs 31 blog...Renee Swoop...much needed revelation came from that. I have been asking God to show me a place, to share, to bless others, by testifying with a humble heart to others on how He has helped me along these past 14 years. This place may be walking distance from my house!


*******

Speaking of walking....I estimated we walked 3 miles in snow, wind and wind chill factors near zero last Saturday. There was a local winter carnival and the local Geocachers had their version of the Amazing Race incorporated in the event. We didn't win and like many things of God, had we checked the batteries of our GPS we would have noticed that our signal was incorrect and saved my youngest and I a half mile walk through unentered National Forest land. "Oh Mom, you know your loving this", she piped back at whiny ole me. Of course when we didn't reconnect with the other two...they ventured up the toboggan hill and followed our footprints. We were four tired puppies by the end of our day. Wishing so much the digital camera hadn't died again.
**Saw sled dogs races.
***Walked across a small frozen lake. That was so surreal...like nomads...everyone was moving across after witnessing the triumphant plunges of 90 daring men, women and teens who bared it all for charity and ran into the icy waters!
****Didn't do the snow sculpture, but people asked ...I guess our second place finish last time was memorable.
*****Got snow tackled!!!! Giggled and laughed until I cried again. The smaller one, who even though she carries the adult weight of a full time teacher got me down. Then the bigger one, all 5'10 and still growing held me there. I wanted so much to say...let me up or I'll pee my pants but I knew there were other people in the woods.
Thankful we all still have the little kid in us still!!!!!
******And....ate a chocolate cricket to boot! Wasn't too bad, but part of the game. Don't think I would tackle a whole handful of them though.

Well....that's enough for now...can't do much, or make too much noise...so I decided to blog.
So blessed!!!!!!!
Amen

Hubby got a "Wubby" and other stuff!

Well to start...I did let go of the forest scenery on here...too cluttered.
New Years resolution #1--Get rid of clutter...
clutter of the brain, the heart, my emotions and my house!
**got two new books this Christmas- Joyce Meyers: "100 Ways To Simplify Your Life" and Don Piper: "90 Minutes In Heaven".

Now to Hubby...hehehe
We definitely pulled the wool over his 50 year old eyes!

Surprise party...my eldest took him shopping the Sunday before his 50th B-day (Christmas Day) and used the excuse she needed to buy gift cards at our favorite Italian restaurant. Well...stubborn Joe refused to enter the restaurant when he recognized a couple cars in the parking lot (he didn't want to be seen buying gift cards). Well, 22 yr old girls can still have hissy fits! She even resorted to stomping her feet in the car to get him to walk in with her. SURPRISE!



Then Santa came...


Then he got his "wubby"...this is what a gal gets her man when she tires of nagging him about his old dusty T-shirts...not an original idea...got it from an old sitcom.


To end this post all I have to give is thanks.
Thanks to a wonderful seamstress. It was worth it!
Thanks to my family.
Thanks to God for much laughter shared, for trials and minor pitfalls during this hectic season, thanks for memorable events, thank you God for great food (even for the return of power Christmas Eve just minutes before dinner was to be served-the butternut squash soup got pureed to perfection), thanks for just enough funds and our first Christmas without using credit cards, thanks for the two words to ponder on this past week when I was weakening.

"Power hungry"... it's true meaning isn't quite defined but every time I get frustrated with people and events around me...those two words bring calm to a hectic situation. I see where I need to let God take control.

Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Dear Sweet Father of Creation!
Happy New Year!

Another Thankful Thursday!

Taking a cue from another, and another, I am forcing myself to post those unusual events that led to my marriage to Joe. I thought much through the day, when my mind was not actively involved with children, how I could even approach this subject. The last time I tried, I got laughed at.

So here it comes in the form of a list.

God blessed me!!!!

Dear Father, may this list of thanks be representative of what you did and continuing to do for me and my family.

1. Thankful Joe was drunk the night we met.
Huhhh!!!! Because of this, he didn't talk a word, just smiled and nodded his head to every word I said. What can I say, it was 1979, Thanksgiving break and me and the girls were at a local disco. I thought, this guy is so different.

2. Thankful I was taking a Business Management class and Joe fit the "T" test. You know, the one where you put your assets and liabilities together. Since I was only 18 (legal drinking age at that time) his assets clearly outweighed his liabilities.
Stupid as I was, it was more important that night as I stood there blabbering along that a guy had a nice car, college degree, aspiring minor league baseball player, and he seemed to enjoy every thing I said. My girlfriend was egging me on about his specifics since she was dating his neighbor.

3. Thankful the first time I met his family was Christmas Eve. We went to the midnight service together and the incredible and unique beauty of Jesus portrayed in mosaic bewildered me. He is not on the cross, but I feel the artist wanted to portray his love for us by having him on a throne, holding the world with angels worshiping around him. It really is an amazing work of art.
It took most the service for me to realize why his eyes struck me so funny. I finally realized they were baby blue with a slight hint of bags under them (a family trait). So were Joe's. When I told this story to someone, they laughed hilariously. Well, at 18, it had an impact or I wouldn't be repeating it.
I don't feel a resemblance anymore...both have new meaning to me.

4. Thankful Carrie Underwood sang her song "Jesus Take The Wheel". About one month later, Joe got so angry with me, jealousy had set in after every weekend we were together and he drove me back to college. One night after he left, after fighting in his car I prayed to everyone I could. I laid awake for approximately 30 minutes, I hit on God to protect him, Jesus, Mary, my mother in heaven to protect him on his drive home. I didn't know why I felt such urgency to call out but I did. Approximately 90 minutes later there was a knock on my dorm room door and I was summoned to take a call from the phone on my wing. Joe was in a full blown panic attack. Somehow the wheel was taken from his hand on the drive home as he drifted to sleep. Joe is not the kind of guy to make this stuff up, much less be in a panic. The day his finger was shredded from his hand, he was the one who drove the boat in. A day we joke about now.

5. Finally, thankful I didn't realize he was proposing marriage. We were in my living room at home, just a couple weeks later and he closed the gap between us and said, "you know we could get married". "Yes we could" was my answer. We had just "rounded the bases" physically the weekend before, a first for both of us, and I did tell God I would marry this guy. I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. It was the first time I saw him cry.

Well that's the scoop. Sorry for the graphic detail, Joe had dated many, me hardly at all, but I was headed in the wrong direction looking for acceptance. My girls know this story, why not more!

Thanks be to God!
Happy Thursday!

"I'm glad your my Mom."

That is what my youngest daughter said to me as I was driving her to her first Homecoming dance as a freshman and representative of our school's Student Council.

I actually did this.....


and the finished result...mind you we only bought this dress two weeks ago and the shoes four hours before the event. For once having size 10 feet came in handy because they were the only shoes that fit and they were "good"!





Now to what really gives me motivation sometimes...

Deut 4:9

"Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons"


I did not give heed to anything Saturday night but to create a balance in my daughter's life that would bring her confidence and reassurance in her natural beauty. She had a wonderful time!

Sunday we enjoyed, my two girls and I, a little talk of why I do the things I do.

I don't want them to make the mistakes I made.
(That's why I check her grades on the computer.)

That's why I try to go the extra mile and blab on and on about the things that hurt me when I was younger.

We also talked of the mistakes I have made, and their right to comment and store up what they would do differently when they have children of their own.
(my eldest reminded me of her 9th grade hairdo that was not so "hip", "funky" or whatever they say now-it was more akin to a Texas beauty pagent...hey...I admitted I make mistakes)

My girls know I smoked pot, went to my first bar at the age of 15, was a binge eater then a starvation fool. When my mother died my senior year of cancer, I hurt so deeply inside I began hurting myself. I once told someone that in MY case, I do not regret the pain I went through and the mistakes I made because I turned something wrong from my early life into something wonderful!


Thanking God we reconnected these past several years before it was too late!

Thank you Jesus...because of you I really was made anew!
(yet a little of the daring comes out from time to time-Thank you Holy Spirit!!!!)

I do not mask much any more...I don't take chances any more!

God gave me four wonderful things to die for:
two beautiful young women,
a loving husband,

and life eternal!!!!!!!

The mess of it all!

Instead of needing "you know your a redneck joke", I need a "you know your house is a mess when"....


your daughter walks into the kitchen and asks "is that vomit or a leaf".

She didn't yell it, but nonchalantly asked what was before her eyes before stepping into the kitchen. Thankfully things are not so destitute to think it was of human nature but earlier in the evening one of our cats had a little case of the "yuckies".
I had to laugh. It was a leaf, but we all got a good chuckle of how in some homes no one would even think to take an icky kitty deposit as something that could be as ordinary as a tiny shriveled maple leaf.

Late last night, after returning home from another evening away and hurried schedule,
I scanned this mess of a place. When school started three weeks ago, I had a schedule change which meant early rising at 5:00.
I am not a morning person by nature!!!!

Then with volleyball games, dance, errands and much needed downtime...the only chore I have been able to keep up on is laundry.

We have clean clothes...but my home has suffered a visible physical pain.

Now I am even a tad too whipped to find a suitable bible verse...but the good news is that even when you can't come up with a suitable quote you can stand firm on the lessons learned.

Eventually life will slow down.
Eventually I will have more energy.
Eventually I'll have a moment to sit back and relish a clean home.

Next week's schedule is much, much less demanding.

Amazing how some weeks just hit you hard!

I did get me a potted mum, and some candy corn to boot!

PS: If you came here by accident...check out Proverbs 31 blogs! They really do help salvage bad days. Thanks to all!

and...my little girl cried last night...she loves her sports..loves it, loves it, loves it...we don't push her into traveling teams or bunches of camps but last night I checked her grades on the computer here at home and asked "what's up with this 65%?" I was heading to bed around 11:30..."Mom"...she felt bad about ONE stinkin' science grade over all the other A's...why did I even mention it??? I actually didn't give it much thought after that. She did. I could of strangled myself...my "bad Mom" moment of the week!


WOOHOOO!!!!! My daughter just walked in after practice...guess what...her teacher typed her score in wrong...she was in the 90% range instead!!!!


Not gonna even attempt to comment on this one either!!! Grades are not that important to lose sleep on I always tell her, but thanking God she mentioned it to her teacher today!

A New Season

Actually did something yesterday that I had never done before.
I went to church alone.
One family member went to the early service, others needed rest.
I always had anxiety over this, leftover from days gone by.

When we went to the amusement park on Thursday I had seen our parish priest, waiting in line behind us with his family (Episcopalian). After seeing him I told myself...I will haul my bum to church Sunday no matter what.

When it became clear Sunday morning I would have to attend church alone...I went.

Little butterflies were in me.

I am still growing.

Someone told my mother-in-law yesterday they thought the troubles I had in the past revolved around cancer. I guess we kept our mouths so closed, feeling ashamed of the stigma of mental illness that the first thing people thought of was cancer since it is so prevalent in my family history. I'm completely guessing at this.

Now to Fall,
A new school year,
New opportunities to reach out to others.
Prayers for an old high school buddy struggling with cancer.
Needing strength and healing from Heaven above for her, for others around me, for myself too,
to understand and accept this new season in life, like the autumn leaves here, ever changing.

I see God calling me to do more things in fear than in comfort.


I apologize if any previous entries here have led anyone to believe I was fearless.
Thankfully, expressing myself openly has enabled me to be more trusting.

Thank you Father,
for each step I take.
Help me to express this gratitude and your incredible love for all of us along the way.

Can't decide

 

Can't really decide what to title this. Here is a pic of us, on a log ride at a wonderful family owned park, Waldameer Park in Erie, Pa.

When I saw this picture I laughed until I cried...in public!

Juli thinks everyone makes faces at the cameras placed on amusement rides!
"Obviously not", I uttered through tears, because not one pic we saw all afternoon had an image similar to this!


Last year when we visited this park I did something I had never done before. I just said the name Jesus over and over in my head prior to being plummeted in a 140 ft. free fall ride called the X-Scream. This year on our visit and when we went to Dollywood, the daring teenager I once was came back.

Goofy as it may be to some...calling our Savior's name gave me something.
I could be a kid again.

Thank you Lord, for family, for fun, and being able to take on many things that were once frightening.

Ode To Joe

Two posts in one day...just got on a roll, thanks to a wonderful comment! Thank you!!!!

So..."Ode To Joe" was the half-time theme of the first Penn State football game we attended. My oldest was 15 yrs. old, and on that day she made her decision to attend PSU, and only PSU. The 400+ Blue Band came on the field, turned their backs to the home side and started to play "Ode to Joy". Then with perfect timing they turned, and hit us with a sound that sent chills through us. We still talk about that day!

Now to my "Ode to Joe"

My Joe can get on my nerves like no one else. He knows exactly how to pull my strings and get a reaction. He doesn't do this to hurt me. I have come to learn through 27 years of marriage that God gave this man to teach the impossible child in me the discipline and the determination that she wasn't taking from Him. Joe had to take over a dual role when I was mentally unable. He has refused to do certain tasks in the past despite my pouting, forcing me to take them on against my willful self. Whether he is willing to openly admit it, I will for him. At times he was a better Mom than me!


Joe is a big guy! He's been told he resembles the likes of heavy hitter Mark McGuire and the lead singer from Metallica. He once scared a gentle older woman at a local nursery buying flowers. All he did was turn slightly to see who was standing next to him..."you want these", she panicked, handing him her planter. Obviously she didn't know what I knew. Joe has his sweet side. He gets more excited for seed catalogs than I do!


Joe thought he could design a living room decor unlike any other. I agreed to paint it Caribbean orange to please his decorative side, then two weeks before Christmas I hurriedly sponged on various shades to mask. It was still hideous! I still consult him on color options, but at least now he lets me do the final pick. That's the story behind the weird wall! Yet, Joe gets teary-eyed every time he watches Extreme Home Makeover!
(hhhh...eldest just came in room while typing...her story of the weird wall is we BOTH didn't listen to her advice first)

I've seen Joe do needlepoint, make lovely bead bells and he makes a mean lasagna!

Joe wished he would of played professional baseball, he once got to pitch before the Pirate staff at Three Rivers. If he had made it, this little confirmation wouldn't be typed. We met after that summer dream fell flat. He never tried to make it in the minors after he met me. He is happy with what he got. (Pirates that is...I still irk him some days)

Joe doesn't always follow the game plan in finances. He opened a charge card two Christmas' ago to buy me an eternity pendant. I cried. It was the first Christmas gift between the two us for years. We had an agreement not to use charge cards, but for some reason that gift, on that Christmas Eve was perfect.


Joe is born Christmas Day. My name is Carol. hhhh...see where I am going with this...that makes me "Christmas Carol", too bad I can't sing a note in key.
Joe does love collecting Santas, Department 56 buildings and outdoor lighting stuff. I doubt Mark McGuire would spend a whole weekend planning, and organizing a front yard that glows a quarter mile away. Thank God for nice neighbors!
If Mr. McGuire does, bless his heart!


Joe wears his wedding ring on his middle finger. His ring finger got ripped off and sewn back on after a freak boating accident.
Joe was struck by lightening while golfing. You know the old saying lightening doesn't strike twice, well, one of his foursome got his second jolt that day. The bolt went to the cart and traveled through all four men. Each man had the burn marks to show. All walked away from it! Praise be to God!

Joe sometimes has a dirty mind...but only about me.
He chooses my company over the guys. Doesn't drink, well maybe one or two beers a month. Can't complain about that...so do I.
He doesn't dwell on stuff! Some guys have that gift! I'm getting better and better, learning from him.
Joe can't handle nagging...so I never perfected it! Another Thank God!
He hasn't time for fuss. So I have learned to accept myself as is. He still looks at me the way he did when I was 18! God, you do have me covered!


Finally, he isn't openly or should I say, verbally spiritual, that has it's bonuses. I have learned much from that fact about God's love and grace.
I realize we don't do together prayer time, except at dinner.
I realize many things about our relationship that don't fit the stereotype of a Christian marriage...yet I know for a fact that the things that have been expressed in moments of love, triumphs and trials could not have happened if God wasn't somehow, someway, blessing us because of the covenant we once made with Him.

Time to spare

Since I am killing time this morning blogging before I get my little one up, I have chosen to share pics of pets!

This is Molly! She is 11 yrs old already. She was chosen at a shelter because she resembled a beloved cat named Angelo who had passed away at the age of 17. Molly is annoying me this morning. She is our grand dame of the house and currently holds dominance among the other two. She chooses who she shows love to and when. She loves me! She dislikes my oldest child the most! She can move our dog into shameful retreat just by casting her stare, with deep blackened eyes and head slightly forward and down. When she doesn't get what she wants, she jumps from object to object, rumbling deep from her throat...as she is now!



Next up is Hannah, our Miniature Schnauzer and Emmy the cat.
PS. The gross color of wall behind is gone! Terrible attempt! Just plain embarrassing! :)
Hannah, she is moody at times, will voice her displeasure if displaced from the furniture. She frightens easily yet challenges those much larger than herself. She's yippy. She adores my husband! Runs to the back door every time she hears "Daddy's home", even if she is sitting on "daddy's" lap. Can be sneaky...and don't mention the word hot dog. One thing they say never to do is feed your dog human food, well we should of taken that advice. Just at the mention of the word she goes into a panic of glorious anticipation!

Then there is Emmy...sweet, adorable Emmy. She is our "Nermal". Constantly loving, gets along with everyone and anyone, even Hannah. Brings us gifts, we find them lying outside our bedroom door in the morning or just inside the backdoor after returning from errands. Can actually catch a mouse, freakishly ferocious on the two occasions she has had in her short lifespan (3 years). She's petite, wants human contact constantly except when the house is full at holidays. Probably makes Molly jealous!

So why bother blogging about our animals...considering all the times they have done things to disrupt life...we always love and forgive. Hannah has had "accidents", coincidentally after not getting her way...and Molly has broken a few picture frames and nicknack's during her spells of defiance. Emmy....she just doesn't seem to ever do anything wrong!

Yea, they're just animals. I chose to give them human tendencies in this post.
I can choose to do many things...last night before sleep I talked in prayer of why I feel freer this past year than ever before. I am not choosing to do much of the things I did in my past, yet I am happier, more confident, more patient, more forgiving, more loving, especially to spouse and kids, and just more accepting of all circumstances I face.

I pray differently, giving Him more praise than requests. Lately my requests have been more for others than myself, I guess that is a great sign I am trusting more for the things I wish would change in our little foursome.

Strangest prayer request that has come to be...Molly had this disgusting growth on her back that fell off last week. I can not and will not say she was healed through prayer, but thanked Him anyways!

Fair

The county fair...food...glorious fair food! No dieting for me yesterday...I was celebrating my release from PMS, my family took 5 blue ribbons, 1 second place, and 2 fourth place ribbons!
More good news...my oldest daughter seems (praying) to have a half-day position granted to her for teaching at a local high school. All she needs is that final call back from the Assistant Principal but he is in meetings today. He had called last week and said he would hold it until she got news from her last interview. This morning she found out. She was disappointed to know she was overlooked again for a full-time opening, I told her this is a blessing for reasons God will disclose at a later date. A lesson even I have trouble swallowing at times about my own endeavors.


back to the fair....

Coincidentally, we had the friendliest conversation with a lovely couple. They wanted to know why my husband was wearing a Penn State shirt...we mentioned our daughter sitting next to us just graduated. "Congratulations" they offered up then asked her what she majored in. After she told them secondary ed. in math and found out she wasn't sure of employment they said don't give up hope, someone they know just got hired at _____.
I burst out laughing...we finally found out who got hired for a position she didn't get placed in. It seemed so funny because I had a feeling this certain individual would get it since he was a semester ahead of her and already placed in the system as a substitute and had proven himself worthy. I know this because her younger sister had him this past spring. Could it be my oldest needed to be a little humbled...God knows...at least now she is more determined than ever to prove herself!
Anyways they were a beautiful example of witnessing to complete strangers...they spoke of the power of prayer when it came to buying their latest car, the car salesman's son got the job my daughter was hoping for originally (hehehe). They encouraged her to pray for guidance in her job quest. They were so sweet...I just loved listening to them. I repeat...a beautiful example of showing God's love!


PS...best one-liner comeback
My husband's...we were approached by an over-exuberant carnival worker, actually he jumped out in front of my husband.
"Hey buddy, you know everyone who has on a Penn State shirt wins at my game!"
"Oh, I'll cut you a break then"
He was so speechless, both men laughed. Glad he took it so well...prayers to all "carnies", it's gotta be rough.

Arghhh!

That was me three hours ago. Three loaves of zucchini bread and a pan of corn bread later, I am happy. Tomorrow I will travel with my two lovelies to the county fair to enter their projects. All I saw at first was the mess my littlest one was making in the kitchen and the unfinished photo project my oldest was completing. Then at the strike of midnight, as my husband was leaving for a late-night call out, the girls hit their beds, and the sweet smells of fresh baked yummies have filled our house...the ugly in me floated away.
I believe it did some good to get grumpy tonight.
I saw that my family was not the least little bit distracted or discouraged by my
self-absorbed anxiety of wanting to see things done with a deadline approaching.

They poked fun of me.
That is good.


I'm sure they will poke more fun of me tomorrow.

27

Happy Anniversary! 27 years!

I had this scanned 2 years ago to make my husband an anniversary card to celebrate our 25th.

27 years ago, I thought for certain we would have this huge celebration on our
25th anniversary. It didn't happen, we had a nice dinner with my in-laws and a couple aunts and our uncle. It was wonderful! Tonight, we are having dinner alone at one of our favorite restaurants. I'm leaving out much of the revelation and spirituality in this because I just can't put into words how I am feeling right now.
I love the fact my husband is grinning ear to ear in this picture, with his Mike Brady hair!
I remember he was sweating it out, through the whole ceremony, while I was as calm as can be.
I remember I danced, and danced, and danced! We had a rented hall, we did our own decorations, we had to run out after the rehearsal dinner and grab a nice serving knife because I forgot. I didn't realize until just minutes before I threw the bouquet that I didn't have a spare, I had pledged mine for Mom's grave. So I ran around pulling flowers where I could from various arrangements and wrapped them in ribbon. We had a huge feast of traditional Slavic food dishes! I had to serve myself!
I loved it!
I was 20 years old, I had just dropped out of college, had no job, yet I was loving this day like no day before!
I am loving today! I am loving life more than ever!
Thank you Father for the blessings we have received!
Thank you Father for the trials we have shared!
Thank you for my family, our love and laughter!
Happy dance, happy dance in my heart today to you!

I Challenging Change in Thought

All my life, I always heard comparisons, so I grew up comparing. This was especially true to the gathering of wealth and material objects. Last night in prayer I finally came to God in thanksgiving and repentance to accept the knowledge of His Word that I too am a rich woman.

Rich in love...husband, children and the realization that I am loved beyond my comprehension by Almighty God.

Rich in knowledge...His word is available to me everyday.

Rich in salvation...Jesus.

Rich in joy...laughter, beauty of this wondrous earth around us.

Rich in contentment...my needs are being met.

Rich in hope..."I can do all things through him who strengthens me" Phil 4:13

Rich in wisdom...my increasing reliance on the Holy Spirit. "But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything that I have told you" John 14:26

When I came to this change in thought, from seeing myself as rich, instead of saying I was richly blessed it did something to me. It allowed freedom to come in and dispel fear. By placing only monetary gain to my perception of the word "rich", I couldn't fully grasp my usefulness to the body of Christ and to God. Being rich was always a condemning word in my mind, a place or people I would never be. Now that I too am a rich woman, for all that I have seen and heard, I too can be a blessing. I see now that wealth abounds for me even though not one more penny may enter my pocket.

Suddenly through this, a whole new perspective surrounds me, it is humbling and it is grace. Thank you Father...I am still unsure where this will take me and my family but with what little I do know of you I am positive it will be for your glory and not mine.

PS. Keep reminding me of that last bit. I still have a long way too go!

Continuation...

Another view from Heavenly View cabin!!!


Cades Cove in Great Smokey Mountains National Park


Great Smokey Mountains National Park

Left Alot of Junk in Tennessee!

I thought something else would happen when I booked us a vacation to Tennessee!
Something akin to a voice of prophesy...something definitive on which way I should turn.

What I got was a spectacular view of mountains. Each new morning brought a completely different image set into my memory forever. We had an "uphill" start to our visit. First of all, the trip up the mountain was horrific. I have this terrible fear of having my vehicle konk out...well we were loaded down to the max and losing power plus overheating as we made the climb to our cabin. I actually called His name out, much to the delight of my family as we made our way up switchback curves and a narrow passageway. Then the toilet got plugged. I sat on the deck and cried. My husband and two girls were playing Foosball! Who was the fool here! Needless to say...the maintenance man came in less than an hour...the van never sputtered a bit the rest of the trip.

I learned much during our week here. From that first night on I put my full trust in God! From roller coasters to mountain peaks, I thought about Him and his grace which led me to just relax, let the events flow and enjoy this time away with my family.

Tennessee is a beautiful state. Though we didn't get to all the things I had planned on doing, all were pleased in this first trip to the Volunteer State! Even our side trip home to U. of Tennessee went without a hitch, what we thought was a wrong turn led us directly to the campus bookstore and stadium. Got us some authentic U. of Tennessee wear!

Funniest oddity we found...the original Kentucky Fried Chicken Cafe while geocaching in Kentucky. I got a kick out of that!

My girl got another call for a job interview...she had posted her resume on a site she doubted anyone would use. The Christian school hasn't rejected her, they sent more info and paperwork for her to fill out.

As for myself, things are more simplified, I am more respectful and thankful to God for this stage I am going through. Thank you for the reality check and the opportunity to dump my junk!

A Testing Day!

Oh what a day! Outdoor B-ball three-on-three, morning of torrential rain and wind, an afternoon of heavy sun. My testing started early. It ran all day and night! I just deleted the details of every aspect of it. It isn't important. So I wont bore anyone of the details. I did go get some new paint for nails...and am so out of the fashion loop I didn't realize Friday night that Walmart doesn't carry Opi. Got Rosie Giggles by Mabeline instead. Since we are all dead tired, and Joe is at work doing a special job, I'm using the TV to get spiritual blessing. The girls are still asleep again. Saturday was a long day!
The three of us have made a pact to start training together. Obviously Juli was fully coached on the game of basketball by wonderfully conditioned and prepared girls! My oldest and I just plain need to get healthier and drop the extra weight!

So I'm ending this post by saying I'm thankful I kept my head, closed my mouth, realized some truths,and I am working through some weaknesses because who really knows what the future holds. Well, someone knows, and to Him I hold onto hope and faith.

Giving Credit

Yesterday I got what I deserved. Both times in jest, I was called a nerd and weird by my two daughters. The first time, I was spouting off on the fact I drank too much coffee. Who didn't get the credit HE deserved was God! Last night in bed my mental activity was popping, not on bad things but on good, yet I wasn't drifting off to sleep. It wasn't until I turned my undivided attention to Him, giving him praise, making specific prayer requests for anyone and everyone I could think of, that I drifted to sleep.

So God...thanks again!!!
Thank you there have been arrests of gangs and child abusers!

Thank you I never finished my prayers! I never do...yet He knows the pain and suffering years ago when the only way I did sleep was through the prescription of sleep aids.

Thank you for the unlimited opportunities I now possess to make others happy!

Like this!!!!


Ewwww!!!! But this is the before picture of Grandma's sugar cookie recipe

Here is the after...


When I got my hands on this recipe, I failed numerous attempts to get them to rise and be fluffy. Actually they don't even taste like a normal sugar cookie and not everyone LOVES them like we do. Currently I am the only one in my husband's family who makes these after the passing of Grandma. This batch took 3 hours to make. Once you make the initial batter, you must continuously add flour bit by bit until the gooey, sticky feeling disappears. Then they must be rolled to the proper thickness, placed on only my bottom rack of the oven, frosted while still hot and yet I still mess up a tray here and there. It's a slow go, as cookie making goes but those who LOVE them soon become addicted. One of my daughter's friends in college told her she had to wrestle the last one from a friend of hers, she loved them so. This Christmas I am hoping to have a cookie day with my sisters-in-law. Their kids devour these like candy every year. My husband gives me guff if I put too many out to share!
When I was still in depression years ago...I fought myself every Christmas to get these buggers out. Now I have made these three times already since the new year started.

For that...God I love you!

A New Day!

I had to walk away from my three best friends in the world last night. My daughters and hubby, every night around ten I feel sleepy, but they egg me on to stay up. Last night I went to bed! Thankful I did...feeling much better about today for it.

Gonna make us some cookies! Snickerdoodles today and after I clean the fridge gonna pop in some of Grandma's sugar cookie dough to whip up a batch tomorrow. My little one, now 5'9", and second tallest in our foursome is wanting to send a batch to summer school Thursday plus with our vacation less than two weeks away, I can have homemade cookies to have on hand in our cabin in the mountains.


Tennessee...we haven't had a week long vacation in 6 years! I took a giant leap of faith for us by securing a cabin in the mountains overlooking Pigeon Forge. Yesterday the last papers were faxed and it is a done deal. Yet there is this voice in me, who wants to yell out to others that I love God, He will provide, we aren't being selfish, we deserve this time away, we deserve a heavenly view of life in a place we have never been before, and yes we know the price of gas! Obviously, there is resentment because our decision to take this vacation hasn't been openly praised by some. I'm still a mountain builder from molehill person instead of tearing down those mountains of needing approval and having a stupid, wandering and suspicious mind. I really think that last part was of His doing!
Forgive me Father!
But I'm busting inside with anticipation!!!!Went on trip advisor today to check out dining options!


So the heart of this post is the day to day struggle and reshaping God is doing with the love, faith, dreams, and hope I have in Him compared to what I am actually expressing to others I speak directly too. God has done some incredibly amazing events in my life! But unfortunately I have weaknesses, I take the outer shell of my middle class existence and that is what I give.
My open prayer today to you Father is:

Break free my mouth to express the love and the lessons you have taught me,
Passion should be flowing,
Expressing the wonderful things you have done for us to others.
Forgive me, teach me to better a better spokesperson for You.
I count each trial, each day a blessing but no one knows...
until now!
Make me more "Dangerous" in conveying your love to others!
(I love that song!!!!!...got it downloaded for free legally by Decemberadio, it allows the old me mix with the "new" me)

So with that done...get to work girl!

A Sweet Blessing!

Last week a woman in the parking lot of a local grocery store gave my daughter a precious gift of a dozen roses. Then she proceeded to pass out three more bunches of roses to other passersby. It was something done for her that obviously I could not do, nor knew to do for her that day. When she called me on her cell she talked about how in the past at Penn State she had been given a flower here and there during her four years there from various students, mainly those involved in student ministries, but she never expected to have that happen here, in this place, a dinky rural place she calls home. Over the past month she has had to hear from others her age moving on, backpacking in Europe, internships in Costa Rica, trips to Chicago and NYC. She has never acted or admitted jealousy, I know I would be if in her shoes. Yesterday was job interview one, in two days, two and three. This daughter is my quiet one, her actions always speak louder than her words. Last night she waited up with me for her father who was called out to trouble shoot a job, even after I mentioned she could go up to bed. A couple days ago she talked briefly about how pretty this area we live in is, even if it's boring. Last night she wished openly she had the funds to pay back her grandparents for the car they bought her by financing their dream trip to Italy, laughing when I asked if she would travel along. "Of course, I wouldn't send Nana and PopPop alone". Keep those dreams alive, girl!
I am posting this as a reminder to myself and anyone else who happens along to enjoy the place you are in, something I struggle with at times, and to keep that line of communication open with God and witness constantly your dreams and frailties.
My dream...Prague...Czech it out! Then there is English countrysides, Spain, Italy...
Hehehe...Hubby wants Mount Rushmore and to visit all 30 Professional baseball parks...
Thankfully all are happy with this years choice of Tennessee! Gotta call later today to make arrangements for final payment on cabin. YeeHaw!!!!