"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God"
This past weekend, I probably stacked up so many non-God glorifying thoughts you could climb Mount Everest! Watching your child play in a contact sport, spying the competition and their parents just plain brings out the worst in me. It spilled into my relationship with my husband. It showed in the attitude of her sister. I'm glad we went! Eye-opener EXTREME!
I had to get down, repent...and move on.
because Romans 3:24
"being justified freely by his grace through the repentance that is in Christ Jesus"
BUT....I will have to do better next time! Then, I will have to do better the next time after that!
Now my mouse is acting like a stubborn child right now, I just changed the batteries and still it's cordless self is making this very difficult.
Just like me, it needs a little shaking up to get moving on the right path!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
A Testing Day!
Oh what a day! Outdoor B-ball three-on-three, morning of torrential rain and wind, an afternoon of heavy sun. My testing started early. It ran all day and night! I just deleted the details of every aspect of it. It isn't important. So I wont bore anyone of the details. I did go get some new paint for nails...and am so out of the fashion loop I didn't realize Friday night that Walmart doesn't carry Opi. Got Rosie Giggles by Mabeline instead. Since we are all dead tired, and Joe is at work doing a special job, I'm using the TV to get spiritual blessing. The girls are still asleep again. Saturday was a long day!
The three of us have made a pact to start training together. Obviously Juli was fully coached on the game of basketball by wonderfully conditioned and prepared girls! My oldest and I just plain need to get healthier and drop the extra weight!
So I'm ending this post by saying I'm thankful I kept my head, closed my mouth, realized some truths,and I am working through some weaknesses because who really knows what the future holds. Well, someone knows, and to Him I hold onto hope and faith.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Latest Addiction
Me and my girls have a new addiction to reality TV...Jon and Kate Plus Eight. We just can't seem to walk away from that show. First of all it never seems to stop amazing me the size of her belly in the opening! I feel the discomfort she must have been in. Then there is the fact that throughout this show we talk! We marvel at the marriage these two blessed people have. Kate is awesome, so demanding and controlling yet in the mystery of how she was created I see that her ways work. Jon just cracks us up. He can get away with sarcasm so easily and innocently. Now I have to admit I don't have the sextuplets names memorized by sight like my girls do but each time I watch, it is so clear how each is wonderfully made and unique.
Now this show is getting much talk around various circles I run into and it is so easy to criticize the parents methods and methodology but the fact that in the opening they can define each child's unique persona and habits shows something you don't see. Somewhere there are children whose parents can't. Somewhere there are children who don't have a home cooked meal. No one plays hide and seek with them.
Now when my girls and I watch this show, we don't get that deep. We don't criticize, we just watch in wonderment. Kate's constant controlling shows me what can be done, that meltdowns are a fact of life and nothing to be ashamed of.
So as I sit here...using this blog to jump start my day...I want to just say thanks to God that 13 years ago I had a husband, who has a hint of Jon in him, to cover my butt when I was soaked in the darkness of clinical depression. The best thing that ever happened to me was being forced to say I was mentally ill with my first therapist. Because of that first step I took a journey to find the greatest things in my life. To grasp each aspect of their personalities, to criticize less, to accept more, to humble myself, and learn how to be grateful for each new day.
Now I need to get my butt moving because yesterday I didn't do poop! I spent the day just hanging with my girls. They're asleep still, no school and a sink full of dishes. Definitely not the thing that I would want the whole world to see. The things I want the whole world to see are the unseen!
Faith, hope and love of our almighty God, even through tears He is there.
Now this show is getting much talk around various circles I run into and it is so easy to criticize the parents methods and methodology but the fact that in the opening they can define each child's unique persona and habits shows something you don't see. Somewhere there are children whose parents can't. Somewhere there are children who don't have a home cooked meal. No one plays hide and seek with them.
Now when my girls and I watch this show, we don't get that deep. We don't criticize, we just watch in wonderment. Kate's constant controlling shows me what can be done, that meltdowns are a fact of life and nothing to be ashamed of.
So as I sit here...using this blog to jump start my day...I want to just say thanks to God that 13 years ago I had a husband, who has a hint of Jon in him, to cover my butt when I was soaked in the darkness of clinical depression. The best thing that ever happened to me was being forced to say I was mentally ill with my first therapist. Because of that first step I took a journey to find the greatest things in my life. To grasp each aspect of their personalities, to criticize less, to accept more, to humble myself, and learn how to be grateful for each new day.
Now I need to get my butt moving because yesterday I didn't do poop! I spent the day just hanging with my girls. They're asleep still, no school and a sink full of dishes. Definitely not the thing that I would want the whole world to see. The things I want the whole world to see are the unseen!
Faith, hope and love of our almighty God, even through tears He is there.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Giving Credit
Yesterday I got what I deserved. Both times in jest, I was called a nerd and weird by my two daughters. The first time, I was spouting off on the fact I drank too much coffee. Who didn't get the credit HE deserved was God! Last night in bed my mental activity was popping, not on bad things but on good, yet I wasn't drifting off to sleep. It wasn't until I turned my undivided attention to Him, giving him praise, making specific prayer requests for anyone and everyone I could think of, that I drifted to sleep.
So God...thanks again!!!
Thank you there have been arrests of gangs and child abusers!
Thank you I never finished my prayers! I never do...yet He knows the pain and suffering years ago when the only way I did sleep was through the prescription of sleep aids.
Thank you for the unlimited opportunities I now possess to make others happy!
Like this!!!!
Ewwww!!!! But this is the before picture of Grandma's sugar cookie recipe
Here is the after...
When I got my hands on this recipe, I failed numerous attempts to get them to rise and be fluffy. Actually they don't even taste like a normal sugar cookie and not everyone LOVES them like we do. Currently I am the only one in my husband's family who makes these after the passing of Grandma. This batch took 3 hours to make. Once you make the initial batter, you must continuously add flour bit by bit until the gooey, sticky feeling disappears. Then they must be rolled to the proper thickness, placed on only my bottom rack of the oven, frosted while still hot and yet I still mess up a tray here and there. It's a slow go, as cookie making goes but those who LOVE them soon become addicted. One of my daughter's friends in college told her she had to wrestle the last one from a friend of hers, she loved them so. This Christmas I am hoping to have a cookie day with my sisters-in-law. Their kids devour these like candy every year. My husband gives me guff if I put too many out to share!
When I was still in depression years ago...I fought myself every Christmas to get these buggers out. Now I have made these three times already since the new year started.
For that...God I love you!
So God...thanks again!!!
Thank you there have been arrests of gangs and child abusers!
Thank you I never finished my prayers! I never do...yet He knows the pain and suffering years ago when the only way I did sleep was through the prescription of sleep aids.
Thank you for the unlimited opportunities I now possess to make others happy!
Like this!!!!
Ewwww!!!! But this is the before picture of Grandma's sugar cookie recipe
Here is the after...
When I got my hands on this recipe, I failed numerous attempts to get them to rise and be fluffy. Actually they don't even taste like a normal sugar cookie and not everyone LOVES them like we do. Currently I am the only one in my husband's family who makes these after the passing of Grandma. This batch took 3 hours to make. Once you make the initial batter, you must continuously add flour bit by bit until the gooey, sticky feeling disappears. Then they must be rolled to the proper thickness, placed on only my bottom rack of the oven, frosted while still hot and yet I still mess up a tray here and there. It's a slow go, as cookie making goes but those who LOVE them soon become addicted. One of my daughter's friends in college told her she had to wrestle the last one from a friend of hers, she loved them so. This Christmas I am hoping to have a cookie day with my sisters-in-law. Their kids devour these like candy every year. My husband gives me guff if I put too many out to share!
When I was still in depression years ago...I fought myself every Christmas to get these buggers out. Now I have made these three times already since the new year started.
For that...God I love you!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Those First Few Momments
Everyday I start by fixing my husband lunch, getting my youngest up for school, brewing the coffee, then settling down to the computer. While my babe is sleeping in dad's easy chair (she has the amount of time needed to get ready for school down to an exact science!) I come here to shake away those thoughts and attacks of the spirit that appear each day! Today my morning e-mail devotions were amazingly on target!
Attack #1: Your blog is stupid! Writing isn't anything worthwhile!
* now these aren't the exact words I heard in my head...but the negative aspect of what I first felt.
Devotional that truly lifted this burden from me..6/25/08
Encouragement For Today from Proverbs 31 Ministry
"The Adventure of Obedience" by Glynnis Whitwer- it sent me to one of my favorite scripture verses, 2 Timothy 4:7 which Paul writes "I have fought the good fight, I have completed the race, I have kept the faith" The fact is I am one of those people who always wants to know how the movie ends. Will my favorite character have a happy ending? By dipping into the waters of salvation through Christ, by pushing further each day, by casting away those thoughts that are hindering my progress and being obedient to God's calling then I too will say as Paul did. Next time my oldest asks "when you gonna write that children's book...I can say, "here, read what I got so far".
Attack #2: Your just plain weird!
* another synopsis of what hindering thoughts that were floating around this morning...boy those buggers always hit me fast and hard! PRAY hard and fast in the morning!!!!
Devotional that helped..6/25/08
In Touch Daily Devotional by Dr. Charles Stanley
Now Dr. Stanley was using this morning's scripture verse from Deuteronomy 6:4-7 to teach on the importance of being diligent in the manner of our children and raising a house filled in faith. But his comment "a person's relationship with Jesus must be real and exciting" fully dispelled my feelings on insecurity about my "dangerous" comment in yesterday's blog post. All of sudden...weirdness, nerdiness, and that cloak of protective darkness was washed away as I allowed the words of the devotional sink in.
Now everyday I receive on average 5-6 e-mail devotionals a day...often they are read quickly, but the strong seed of God's love even though devoured in a flash DO sustain me! Yet I save each one...I have numerous folders from each site saved. I can't junk them, I can't throw them to the trash bin. Why? My Father knows...somewhere down my journey I'll need them, I'll find one that lifts me or someone else.
As for today...in 6 minutes and counting I have to arise my slumbering teen from the easy chair...get her out the door. She is dressed now...she is taking Health for her upcoming Freshman year during summer school because it's quick, less work, and no offense to her teacher...but coming along rather easy! Now she has more freedom to make schedule changes if need be next fall. She tried to tell kids that the small sacrifice of three weeks of 1/2 day classes and getting up early would be only to their benefit.
She's out the door...Thank God!!!! She's NOT a morning person so this really is a true sacrifice for her! Bless her heart she didn't object to this course, but we already knew through her older sis she will appreciate it come fall.
She will have Grandma's sugar cookies by the end of today!
HHHHHH....guess what ...she missed the bus!!!! She sent a text to her friend...her friend sent a 14 yr old version of a joke, "you missed the bus"...my now "fully" awake 14 yr old zips back into the house to tell me, looses signal and can't receive the 2nd text from her friend saying she's kidding and the bus goes zipping by the house! So I am back 30 minutes later...thankful I didn't lose this post because I closed it so quickly and actually in better humor now than before!
Isn't knowing God wonderful!
Attack #1: Your blog is stupid! Writing isn't anything worthwhile!
* now these aren't the exact words I heard in my head...but the negative aspect of what I first felt.
Devotional that truly lifted this burden from me..6/25/08
Encouragement For Today from Proverbs 31 Ministry
"The Adventure of Obedience" by Glynnis Whitwer- it sent me to one of my favorite scripture verses, 2 Timothy 4:7 which Paul writes "I have fought the good fight, I have completed the race, I have kept the faith" The fact is I am one of those people who always wants to know how the movie ends. Will my favorite character have a happy ending? By dipping into the waters of salvation through Christ, by pushing further each day, by casting away those thoughts that are hindering my progress and being obedient to God's calling then I too will say as Paul did. Next time my oldest asks "when you gonna write that children's book...I can say, "here, read what I got so far".
Attack #2: Your just plain weird!
* another synopsis of what hindering thoughts that were floating around this morning...boy those buggers always hit me fast and hard! PRAY hard and fast in the morning!!!!
Devotional that helped..6/25/08
In Touch Daily Devotional by Dr. Charles Stanley
Now Dr. Stanley was using this morning's scripture verse from Deuteronomy 6:4-7 to teach on the importance of being diligent in the manner of our children and raising a house filled in faith. But his comment "a person's relationship with Jesus must be real and exciting" fully dispelled my feelings on insecurity about my "dangerous" comment in yesterday's blog post. All of sudden...weirdness, nerdiness, and that cloak of protective darkness was washed away as I allowed the words of the devotional sink in.
Now everyday I receive on average 5-6 e-mail devotionals a day...often they are read quickly, but the strong seed of God's love even though devoured in a flash DO sustain me! Yet I save each one...I have numerous folders from each site saved. I can't junk them, I can't throw them to the trash bin. Why? My Father knows...somewhere down my journey I'll need them, I'll find one that lifts me or someone else.
As for today...in 6 minutes and counting I have to arise my slumbering teen from the easy chair...get her out the door. She is dressed now...she is taking Health for her upcoming Freshman year during summer school because it's quick, less work, and no offense to her teacher...but coming along rather easy! Now she has more freedom to make schedule changes if need be next fall. She tried to tell kids that the small sacrifice of three weeks of 1/2 day classes and getting up early would be only to their benefit.
She's out the door...Thank God!!!! She's NOT a morning person so this really is a true sacrifice for her! Bless her heart she didn't object to this course, but we already knew through her older sis she will appreciate it come fall.
She will have Grandma's sugar cookies by the end of today!
HHHHHH....guess what ...she missed the bus!!!! She sent a text to her friend...her friend sent a 14 yr old version of a joke, "you missed the bus"...my now "fully" awake 14 yr old zips back into the house to tell me, looses signal and can't receive the 2nd text from her friend saying she's kidding and the bus goes zipping by the house! So I am back 30 minutes later...thankful I didn't lose this post because I closed it so quickly and actually in better humor now than before!
Isn't knowing God wonderful!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A New Day!
I had to walk away from my three best friends in the world last night. My daughters and hubby, every night around ten I feel sleepy, but they egg me on to stay up. Last night I went to bed! Thankful I did...feeling much better about today for it.
Gonna make us some cookies! Snickerdoodles today and after I clean the fridge gonna pop in some of Grandma's sugar cookie dough to whip up a batch tomorrow. My little one, now 5'9", and second tallest in our foursome is wanting to send a batch to summer school Thursday plus with our vacation less than two weeks away, I can have homemade cookies to have on hand in our cabin in the mountains.
Tennessee...we haven't had a week long vacation in 6 years! I took a giant leap of faith for us by securing a cabin in the mountains overlooking Pigeon Forge. Yesterday the last papers were faxed and it is a done deal. Yet there is this voice in me, who wants to yell out to others that I love God, He will provide, we aren't being selfish, we deserve this time away, we deserve a heavenly view of life in a place we have never been before, and yes we know the price of gas! Obviously, there is resentment because our decision to take this vacation hasn't been openly praised by some. I'm still a mountain builder from molehill person instead of tearing down those mountains of needing approval and having a stupid, wandering and suspicious mind. I really think that last part was of His doing!
Forgive me Father!
But I'm busting inside with anticipation!!!!Went on trip advisor today to check out dining options!
So the heart of this post is the day to day struggle and reshaping God is doing with the love, faith, dreams, and hope I have in Him compared to what I am actually expressing to others I speak directly too. God has done some incredibly amazing events in my life! But unfortunately I have weaknesses, I take the outer shell of my middle class existence and that is what I give.
My open prayer today to you Father is:
Break free my mouth to express the love and the lessons you have taught me,
Passion should be flowing,
Expressing the wonderful things you have done for us to others.
Forgive me, teach me to better a better spokesperson for You.
I count each trial, each day a blessing but no one knows...
until now!
Make me more "Dangerous" in conveying your love to others!
(I love that song!!!!!...got it downloaded for free legally by Decemberadio, it allows the old me mix with the "new" me)
So with that done...get to work girl!
Gonna make us some cookies! Snickerdoodles today and after I clean the fridge gonna pop in some of Grandma's sugar cookie dough to whip up a batch tomorrow. My little one, now 5'9", and second tallest in our foursome is wanting to send a batch to summer school Thursday plus with our vacation less than two weeks away, I can have homemade cookies to have on hand in our cabin in the mountains.
Tennessee...we haven't had a week long vacation in 6 years! I took a giant leap of faith for us by securing a cabin in the mountains overlooking Pigeon Forge. Yesterday the last papers were faxed and it is a done deal. Yet there is this voice in me, who wants to yell out to others that I love God, He will provide, we aren't being selfish, we deserve this time away, we deserve a heavenly view of life in a place we have never been before, and yes we know the price of gas! Obviously, there is resentment because our decision to take this vacation hasn't been openly praised by some. I'm still a mountain builder from molehill person instead of tearing down those mountains of needing approval and having a stupid, wandering and suspicious mind. I really think that last part was of His doing!
Forgive me Father!
But I'm busting inside with anticipation!!!!Went on trip advisor today to check out dining options!
So the heart of this post is the day to day struggle and reshaping God is doing with the love, faith, dreams, and hope I have in Him compared to what I am actually expressing to others I speak directly too. God has done some incredibly amazing events in my life! But unfortunately I have weaknesses, I take the outer shell of my middle class existence and that is what I give.
My open prayer today to you Father is:
Break free my mouth to express the love and the lessons you have taught me,
Passion should be flowing,
Expressing the wonderful things you have done for us to others.
Forgive me, teach me to better a better spokesperson for You.
I count each trial, each day a blessing but no one knows...
until now!
Make me more "Dangerous" in conveying your love to others!
(I love that song!!!!!...got it downloaded for free legally by Decemberadio, it allows the old me mix with the "new" me)
So with that done...get to work girl!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Sweet Blessing!
Last week a woman in the parking lot of a local grocery store gave my daughter a precious gift of a dozen roses. Then she proceeded to pass out three more bunches of roses to other passersby. It was something done for her that obviously I could not do, nor knew to do for her that day. When she called me on her cell she talked about how in the past at Penn State she had been given a flower here and there during her four years there from various students, mainly those involved in student ministries, but she never expected to have that happen here, in this place, a dinky rural place she calls home. Over the past month she has had to hear from others her age moving on, backpacking in Europe, internships in Costa Rica, trips to Chicago and NYC. She has never acted or admitted jealousy, I know I would be if in her shoes. Yesterday was job interview one, in two days, two and three. This daughter is my quiet one, her actions always speak louder than her words. Last night she waited up with me for her father who was called out to trouble shoot a job, even after I mentioned she could go up to bed. A couple days ago she talked briefly about how pretty this area we live in is, even if it's boring. Last night she wished openly she had the funds to pay back her grandparents for the car they bought her by financing their dream trip to Italy, laughing when I asked if she would travel along. "Of course, I wouldn't send Nana and PopPop alone". Keep those dreams alive, girl!
I am posting this as a reminder to myself and anyone else who happens along to enjoy the place you are in, something I struggle with at times, and to keep that line of communication open with God and witness constantly your dreams and frailties.
My dream...Prague...Czech it out! Then there is English countrysides, Spain, Italy...
Hehehe...Hubby wants Mount Rushmore and to visit all 30 Professional baseball parks...
Thankfully all are happy with this years choice of Tennessee! Gotta call later today to make arrangements for final payment on cabin. YeeHaw!!!!
I am posting this as a reminder to myself and anyone else who happens along to enjoy the place you are in, something I struggle with at times, and to keep that line of communication open with God and witness constantly your dreams and frailties.
My dream...Prague...Czech it out! Then there is English countrysides, Spain, Italy...
Hehehe...Hubby wants Mount Rushmore and to visit all 30 Professional baseball parks...
Thankfully all are happy with this years choice of Tennessee! Gotta call later today to make arrangements for final payment on cabin. YeeHaw!!!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Catch-up time!
The last couple weeks of school I was operating on "another day, another dollar" syndrome. Doing as much as I can each day but not full of pure joy. Now that summer vacation has hit us I want to use this time to share and celebrate some of the great things that we have been blessed with!
Graduation Day!!!!!!
Then yesterday, when my oldest was thinking she was being ignored, God answered her prayers...she not only got one call for interviews for teaching positions but three!
Right now I'm sitting here listening to Joyce Meyers..."something good is going to happen to me today!" So with no second income coming in for the summer I am believing, I thought I was a believer last summer but my heart was worrisome. Obviously something is different this time around because I truly have no smidgen of anxiety at the thought of money! YEAH!!!! Something is definitely different!
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not be faint.
This summer my plan is the same as the former listed syndrome, do as much as I can each day but do so with a joyous heart full of praise, believing, loving, forgiving, teaching my kids and hubby to trust God. I was feeling quite alone the last few weeks of school this year but I kept plugging along. Allowing the love from children to push me forward. Thank you Father that they were a vital part of my life this past year because the lessons they taught me about myself I fully believe came because of You and what You saw in my flesh that needed discarded! You were with me every step along the way!
So every week I will return here to list all that He brings to my life and rejoice!
Graduation Day!!!!!!
Then yesterday, when my oldest was thinking she was being ignored, God answered her prayers...she not only got one call for interviews for teaching positions but three!
Right now I'm sitting here listening to Joyce Meyers..."something good is going to happen to me today!" So with no second income coming in for the summer I am believing, I thought I was a believer last summer but my heart was worrisome. Obviously something is different this time around because I truly have no smidgen of anxiety at the thought of money! YEAH!!!! Something is definitely different!
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not be faint.
This summer my plan is the same as the former listed syndrome, do as much as I can each day but do so with a joyous heart full of praise, believing, loving, forgiving, teaching my kids and hubby to trust God. I was feeling quite alone the last few weeks of school this year but I kept plugging along. Allowing the love from children to push me forward. Thank you Father that they were a vital part of my life this past year because the lessons they taught me about myself I fully believe came because of You and what You saw in my flesh that needed discarded! You were with me every step along the way!
So every week I will return here to list all that He brings to my life and rejoice!
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